Goal
by Rika Fujitaka
Summary: He was the only one who understood, as he was the only one who really knew her.


Nobody really understood why. Not her family, not her friends and certainly not the people she had fought so hard to be worthy to lead. They crowded around her hospital room, listening to the sound of the machine keeping her alive. Forcing oxygen in and out of her lungs, as they had ceased doing so on their own.

There were a few tears being shed but mostly there were frowns of confusion. Of betrayal.

Why would a woman, who had fought her entire life to finally achieve her dream, simply let it all go? When that which she desired had at last come within her grasp, she chooses to ignore it for the sake of eternal darkness.

Not one of the people waiting for her to either come back or fade away could even begin to fathom the reasoning behind her decision. There was however one person, a man with the eyes of someone far past his modest twenty years of life, whom understood her decision far too well. Because this man knew the feelings of someone who fought towards a goal, forsaking everything else in life, only to realise that when you succeed all you would have is a feeling of regret.

He knew, better than anyone, that when you thrive for only one thing and accomplish it, the only reason for you to be alive will have vanished; leaving behind someone who should have died.

Yes, Sasuke Uchia understands far better then he wish he did. Not only does he find himself in a painfully familiar situation, but he also remembers things no one else does. He remembers late night meetings at the training ground; a pair of pale, wide eyes filled with something akin to longing as they watched others form the type of bonds she could not allow herself to have. Would not allow herself.

He remembers the week before it happened. It was right after the announcement came, Hyuuga Hinata had finally gained acceptance from the Hyuuga council and would proceed to step into her rightful role as heiress to Konohas most influential family. She should have been out celebrating together with her followers among the branch family, instead he found her outside his house, drenched to the bones, calmly looking up at the sky.

When she had refused to speak first he had inquired as to why she was not in the company of her friends, rejoicing at the recent victory. She waited for awhile before replying, without tearing her gaze from the clouds, that she could not see the reason for celebration. After all, why smile when your purpose in this world ends? As he had no good reply to the statement, he had simply grabbed her chin and done what he usually did when she showed up at his house.

It was not love, neither of them seemed to be able to conjure up enough care for that too happen, but it was need. A way to satisfy their hunger for physical contact despite not having any real bonds left to any one else. Both were too caught up with their goals, or maybe obsessions would be a better word for it, to dare dwell into a relationship, as that would require a real connection. Something to tie them down.

Those they had had before were lost years ago, and now reduced to awkward greetings and fleeting glances. They had found each other by chance, choosing to spend their evenings at the training grounds rather then in the company of old friends, and since discovering that they shared a similar view of life kept each other company.

You could not cure loneliness by simply touching, even if it felt good for the moment it would pass, accompanied by even more loneliness then you had felt before. They both knew this, but still they insisted on seeking each other out for that temporary relief. For him it was a way of forgetting, even if only for a moment, that his only reason to live had already been killed off by someone he once considered a friend. For her it was always about pretending.

When she was squirming underneath him, a blush giving her pale cheeks some colour, it was almost as if she once again was the stuttering girl with a kind smile that held nothing but hope for the future. The girl that had died together with a smaller version of herself, who had a habit of sneaking into her big sisters room every time their father had said something hurtful.

But that time, after they had finished and she had dressed herself, things had been different. It was not uncommon for them to discuss their current affairs with one another, but it was an unspoken agreement between them to never bring their feelings into the discussion. Which is why he had been fairly surprised when she hesitated before the door leading out of his bedroom and instead turned to face him.

'_Sasuke, what do you do now? To keep going even when it all should end… What is __my purpose now? I should be dead, but I am still here. Why?'_

Her eyes had been boring into his, filled with more feelings then he had ever seen in them during these last three years they had known each other. Confusion, slight panic and desperation twirled inside her white eyes while she turned to him for an answer. Sadly he had never found one for himself, even back when he had still bothered with searching, and so had nothing to give her. After meeting his impassive gaze she once again turned around, whispered a quiet good bye and left.

He had not known it then, but that was the last time he saw her alive. A couple of days later the rumours of her ´´accident´´ spread through the village. They were saying that she had drowned in the river floating by the Hyuuga compound. One of the strongest kunochi in Konoha, Hiashis successor, accidentally drowning? It was stupid enough for anyone to see through. Hyuuga Hinata had killed herself and everyone knew it.

Sasuke did not blame her for it. After all, he had entertained the same thought over and over again ever since his return to Konoha and still did from time to time. But even so, he felt a small prick in the shrivelled up black thing that took the place where logic told him his heart should be, at the thought of her no longer existing.

The prickling sensation only got stronger as he continued to ponder over the fact that, once more, he was the only one carrying the burden of simply existing without a purpose. His small, sad companion no longer walked by his side, no longer suffered in the same way as he did. He…missed her. It was a strange sensation; one he did not know what to make of or how to deal with.

He sighed, sitting alone in his bed where her smell still lingered. He did not hold her actions against her, not like the people now watching her slip away. Because in difference to them he had actually understood Hinata Hyuuga and knew that eternal darkness was the same thing as eternal peace, well deserved after a life of struggles. It was her right for fighting so long and he saw no shame in her decision to claim it. After all, had he not been too afraid of what he did not know he would have taken that path as well.

Closing his eyes he laid down to rest, if only for a moment, before he would once again rise up and walk aimlessly through life. It was the lot of those who stayed, even after their time was up, and he had long missed his opportunity to rest. The feeling of loneliness mixed with envy for the girl who had finally been able to let go.


End file.
